


Smashing the Barrier

by NanakiBH



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Sex, First Time Topping, Kink Meme, M/M, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 21:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After giving it a lot of thought, Nitori decides that it's time to ask Rin if he can try his hand at topping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smashing the Barrier

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an anon on the kink meme who requested Nitori topping Rin. Their prompt was rather lengthy, but I think I filled most of the requirements here. I try!

Three weeks.

So far, this was the longest relationship Nitori had ever been in. It was technically the _only_ relationship he had ever been in, but he felt he had reason to be proud of this.

In just a month, he felt like he had already learned more about Rin than he'd ever known.

They were always roommates, but he had never gotten close enough to Rin to feel like he really understood him and the complicated things he had going on in his head. They were close in an unusual way that he wouldn't have been able to satisfactorily label as 'friends'. They treated each other civilly when they saw each other at school, often had lunch together, practiced together, went shopping together...

They did a lot together. That didn't make them friends, though. In spite of that, he had the feeling that, even though Rin didn't say it or show it outwardly, he appreciated his presence. Even when Rin would get angry and tell him to leave him alone, he always felt confident that they would be just the same the next time they talked.

From the start, he could tell that there was something wrong with Rin, something that made him different from when he first saw him all those years ago. And he could tell that Rin knew that he sensed it.

That fact was the tenuous thread that held them together.

Even now that they were together, they relied on their silence. When there was silence, a thousand words could be spoken through a single glance.

Like, _“Good morning.”_

Or, _“I missed you.”_

The things that were still hard for either of them to say out loud without turning at least a little red first.

Nitori was trying to work on that, though. Each day in this new and precious relationship, he was trying to work on his ability to speak his mind, to find ways to let Rin know how much he appreciated him. It was one thing to tell him about how amazing he thought he was. He'd already done that enough, cheering for him from the bleachers. It occurred to him that, like with many other facets of their relationship, he probably didn't have to use words for Rin to understand. So there had to be a way to _show_ him instead.

They'd already done it.

Had sex, that is.

Thinking about it was enough to make Nitori flustered. Thinking about it during important things like class and practice was the worst, and made things all kinds of awkward, but he couldn't help it. It was hard to believe that he was really together with the person he'd admired for so long, but it felt downright impossible to believe that he'd really had sex with him. There hadn't been a day yet where he hadn't woken up and had to remind himself that the memories of Rin's hands on his skin were more than just a dream.

Using all of his courage, Nitori had been the one to start things, blurting out his feelings to Rin when no one else was around. Against his fears, things went surprisingly well from there. He was also the one to initiate their first kiss, but Rin was the one whose hands began to wander and explore, leading them that extra step that was needed to take them further.

He wanted to be the ones to take the reins for once. He wanted to break down the barriers of senpai and kouhai. If he really wanted to show Rin how strong his feelings for him were, then he was going to have to find the strength within himself to get things started the same way that Rin had.

It hadn't been easy for him at first, Nitori could tell. Rin was inexperienced at expressing his feelings – to others, and even to himself. In that regard, Nitori already had a foot up.

He just had to figure out how to begin...

 

It was one lazy Saturday afternoon. They were in the dorm together, sitting on Rin's bed with their backs against the wall, watching whatever happened to be on TV. At each commercial break, they jumped to the next channel, never staying committed to what was on; from news to news to talk show to golf to whatever the remote would take them to next.

The silence had been comfortable until Nitori's anxious thoughts returned, stirring him up inside. Head resting lightly against Rin's shoulder, he tried to tilt his chin up to see his face. He thought he was being quiet, but Rin must have noticed his unease because he looked down at him with an eyebrow raised inquiringly.

He made a quiet, curious sound like a hum, silently asking Nitori any number of things without using his voice.

“Um... No, it's nothing,” Nitori said, looking down at his lap rather than at the TV.

Rin's eyes continued to linger on him, prompting Nitori to wonder whether he could smell his anxiousness like an animal. Humans were animals, after all. It could have been possible. Rin had impeccable instincts. Uncanny ones.

“What is it? You wanna say something, don't you?” Rin said.

There was no way Rin wouldn't have noticed the way he flinched when he asked. Desperate to avoid potential disaster, Nitori turned his head and looked in the opposite direction, staring at the wall as he hastily muttered, “It's really nothing.”

_What am I doing?_ he screamed at himself internally.

It wouldn't be that hard to ask. Rin had told him so many personal things about himself already. He'd opened up to him. He was still Rin, but he was like a totally new, kind Rin. The Rin that he knew before might have scoffed at what he wanted to propose, but this new version of him would at least hear him out first, so there was no reason for him to hesitate.

Holding onto that reassurance, he slowly turned back around, and carefully met Rin's eyes.

“I had an idea,” he said, curling his fingers nervously in the fabric of his sweatpants. “I don't know how to say it, though... Like, I'm not sure whether you'll like it or not.”

Rin lifted the arm he had behind Nitori's back and wrapped it around his waist. “That just makes me curious, you know. Now you're going to have to tell me. Otherwise...” The hand resting on Nitori's waist began to sneakily creep under the bottom of his shirt, fingers brushing the sensitive skin of his stomach. At once, a giggle bubbled from Nitori's lips and he had to hold his teeth together to keep any more from coming out.

“O-okay! Okay!” Nitori pleaded, succumbing to Rin's tickling fingers. “I'll tell you. Just... Promise that you'll really think about it first, okay?”

“I reserve my right to disagree with anything,” Rin replied adamantly. “But I'll listen.”

There was always a possibility that Rin would strongly oppose the idea, but there was no way for Nitori to know unless he asked first. So, forcing his nerves down, he tried, saying it straightforwardly, without any room for misinterpretation.

“I want to be on top.”

Rin's face stayed surprisingly calm. Nitori continued to watch him, searching for a reaction, but his expression stayed firm as he thought about what Nitori just told him.

Then Rin looked away, and, when the arm around him withdrew, Nitori worried that he'd actually made him angry. Picking up his feet, Nitori got on his knees and tried to lean forward to look at Rin's face, but whenever he leaned a little farther forward, Rin turned more to the side to hide his face.

“Rin-senpai...?” he asked, unsure of what kind of reaction his statement had even elicited.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to call me that?” Rin asked, his voice sounding frustrated.

Immediately, Nitori jolted and curled up, hugging his knees to his chest. It just slipped from his tongue; a habit that he had trouble breaking, even when they were alone. Reflex made him want to apologize, but Rin didn't really sound mad. He sounded... kind of...

“So... What do you think?” Nitori asked, leaning back against the wall, letting Rin have his space. “Are you not interested?”

After another few moments, Rin rested back against the wall next to him, and Nitori was finally able to see how he looked.

He looked red.

“It's not like that. First of all, isn't it normal to want to do it both ways? We're guys. I can't blame you for wanting to be on top. It's not like we have to stick to doing it the way we did it the first time. Nothing's written in stone. Things would just get boring if we kept doing it like that-”

“You wanted to be on bottom, didn't you, senpai?”

Rin gaped, a high-pitched squeak coming from his throat before he remembered to close his mouth. “That's not what I said! Don't put words in my mouth!”

He could deny it all he liked, but Rin's widened eyes told the truth of his feelings.

“Sorry,” Nitori said, laughing softly. As fun as it was to play around with Rin when he got like this, he hadn't heard a real answer from him yet. “What do you think, though? Is it a bad idea? I've always kind of wanted to do it that way...”

He just put it out there. He wasn't trying to guilt him into it by saying it like that; it just felt like a relief to finally admit to something he'd wanted all along.

Keeping his chin tilted downward, Rin nodded slightly, looking as though he were still thinking deeply about what Nitori had suggested. Nitori could sympathize; the more he let himself think about it, the harder it was to keep himself calm. His cool was steadily breaking as he watched Rin's reactions. Just knowing that Rin was giving it so much thought was enough to make his breath quicken.

“It's fine. I said that already, didn't I?” Rin spat out quickly, forcing himself to sound indignant.

“You didn't say it quite like-” Nitori had learned when to shut up. “S-so you're okay with it?”

Breathing an exasperated sigh, Rin got up on his knees and turned around to face him. Placing his hands on Nitori's shoulders, he leaned in so close that Nitori could feel his breath gusting lightly against his own parted lips. Trying to keep his nerves together, he noticed that Rin's eyes looked distant, a little unfocused, like he was still lost in his thoughts, neither looking at him, nor past him.

“I won't know what I think of it until I try it.”

In that frozen and heated moment, with his senses all heightened and aware, Nitori felt as though his breathing synchronized with Rin's. He was so close. With just another inch, he felt like he would fall into the depths of his eyes.

Mesmerized, driven by the powerful thudding of his heart, he closed his eyes and leaned forward.

Yet, before his lips could meet with the expected softness of Rin's, he was pulled forward roughly by the front of his shirt and dragged into a strong and biting kiss. At the mercy of Rin's kiss, there was nothing he could do but link his hands together at the back of Rin's head and embrace it as he was drowned in Rin's emotions. When Rin was nervous, he was rough, but never violent with him. A tempest of emotion could surround them, and Nitori would always feel safe that he was at the eye of it.

The breath he took after they parted felt like the first blessed breath of air after a long dive.

As he opened his eyes and looked up into Rin's, he noticed that they looked more focused, like he'd come to a decision.

Without any foreword, Rin began to strip, pulling first his shirt over his head, then tugging off his socks. Nitori watched with a dry mouth as he got on his knees and pushed his pants down, and tossed them over the side of the bed with the rest of his things. The speed with which he could remove his clothes was... astonishing. (Nitori mused that Rin must have been practicing, unwilling to be outdone in any area by his childhood rival.)

When he noticed the way that Rin was looking at him, with his eyes narrowed and his jaw tight, he froze. He was supposed to be taking the reins, but he couldn't help but feel like he was manning a cart driven by a wild bronco.

He looked around himself, frantically trying to think of what he was supposed to do to assume the kind of assertiveness that Rin held when he was the one pushing him onto the bed. No matter where he looked, though, he knew that he wasn't going to find that kind of strength just sitting around. It had to come from within, and he was beginning to doubt whether he was capable of that kind of attitude.

“Ai.”

His eyes snapped up and locked onto Rin's.

Rin sighed and laid back, calmly folding his arms behind his head. “You're thinking too much. If it's something you really want to do, then just do whatever comes naturally to you.”

“W-what if I hurt you?” he asked.

Rin stared at him sourly, face still flushed. “I doubt it. But if that's what you're worried about, I'll let you know.”

_Okay._ Deep breath. He just had to calm down and act naturally, take things slowly; think.

However, that brought him to his second problem. Thinking about the order in which this normally went when he was on bottom, the step that followed taking off his clothes and assuming the position was preparation. And the thought of preparing Rin sounded... daunting.

He must have been able to see the gears turning and grinding to a halt in Nitori's head, because Rin sat up with a loud sigh and leaned over the side of the bed. With one hand, he fished around blindly through the piles of clothes and books next to them until he grasped what he was searching for. He laid back down, holding the tube of lubricant in hand. Nitori eyed him cautiously, swallowing as he watched him open the top and squeeze some of it into his palm. He half-expected him to pass him the tube, but was surprised when Rin brought his hand between his legs and began wordlessly preparing himself on his own.

The scene was really something. Even in his wildest fantasies, Nitori hadn't yet imagined Rin doing something like this. His thoughts had covered all of the more obvious scenarios, had even heard Rin trying to stifle his quiet moans at night as he jerked himself off in his own bunk, but he hadn't thought about whether Rin had ever fingered himself like that. Lately, his thoughts had been preoccupied with the memories of what it felt like to be under Rin. It was only recently that he started to imagine it the other way around, but he'd never given any thought to whether Rin had any experience like this.

He really looked like he knew what he was doing. Eyes half-lidded, he took slow breaths as he worked the first of his fingers around inside of himself. He'd pushed it in without a second thought, like he'd done it before and knew what to expect, and it looked like he was concentrating, waiting to feel something before he moved on to another finger.

Completely distracted by watching Rin, Nitori hadn't even noticed that he still needed to undress. Hoping that it would make Rin feel more comfortable if he took his eyes off of him, he looked away for the moment and focused on himself, quickly removing his loose clothes.

By the time he pulled off his last sock and turned around, Rin looked ready. That was the only way to describe the expression he wore. He was still moving two of his fingers around inside of himself, but his eyes were on Nitori, watching him with a distant, lustful gaze. It looked like quite a lewd display, but Nitori could still see a familiar bit of shyness beneath his eyelashes. Underneath his bravado, Nitori felt reassured that Rin was really just as nervous and excited about trying something new.

“Here,” Rin said, picking up the tube from the spot next to him where he dropped it. He beckoned him forward, and Nitori scooted over on his knees until he was kneeling comfortable between Rin's parted legs. 

He should have known better than to expect Rin to give up all of the control. He put a little more of the lubricant in his palm. Grasping Nitori by the hip, he slid his slick fingers around his cock, and coated it thoroughly with a few firm, tantalizing strokes of his hand. Unable to resist, Nitori pressed forward, letting out a quiet breath as the head of his cock nudged the center of Rin's palm and slid along his wrist.

“Rin,” he mumbled, already beginning to worry about how long he was going to be able to last after watching Rin preparing himself in front of him. That was a sight he wouldn't soon forget.

As soon as the wonderful warmth of Rin's fingers left him, his senses snapped back into the present, and he looked down at the one laying in front of him on the bed. His heart thudded loudly in his ears, and his cock twitched eagerly, encouraging him to give his body what it was asking for.

“A-are you ready?” he asked, trying and failing to sound confident.

Rin pulled his knees back a little farther and nodded. “Are you going to keep making me wait? Get on with it.”

His blush seemed to spread right down to his chest, making it clear just how nervous and aroused he felt. He hadn't even touched his cock yet, but it was curved back ridgedly toward his belly, straining with need. Nitori could relate. His nerves were having a similar effect on him.

Like Rin told him, he tried not to think too hard, and positioned himself at Rin's entrance. Taking a quick glance up at Rin's face, he saw him looking down at him, watching what he was doing. With his heart in his throat, Nitori grasped himself in his palm, and pressed the tip of his cock against him, and pushed gently until he felt the tip sink inside. He hadn't even realized that he'd squeezed his eyes closed until he opened them to look down. When he did, he immediately felt his blood heat up.

He was really doing it. It was just the tip so far, but he was really inside of Rin.

He looked up at him again and felt a burst of confidence at the look of pleasure on Rin's face. His eyes were closed and his lips were drawn into a tight line, but Nitori could tell that he was concentrating on the feeling. He'd never seen himself while they had sex before, but he imagined that he made a very similar face whenever Rin would first push inside.

As he slowly began to move his hips, he was able to push in a little deeper with each movement. He took it slow, testing the waters, and was relieved by the soft sighs that Rin released as he moved. He kept his eyes closed, but it was clear that he was feeling good.

“How does it feel?” he asked. He didn't have to, but he felt compelled, wanting to hear Rin tell him what it felt like for him. Nitori knew from his own experience, but he wanted to know if it were different for Rin.

At last, Rin opened his eyes. His vision seemed blurry, staring blankly at his face for a few moments, but then his gaze lowered to where their bodies were connected, where Nitori's hips continued to move, pressing him forward into the heat of Rin's body. Rin opened his mouth, but only a weak sound came out, as if he didn't quite have words for it yet. Tentatively, he lifted a hand and brought it between them, carefully brushing the tips of his fingers around his entrance, widened to accommodate Nitori's cock.

“It's really in,” he muttered absently, as if he were confirming to himself that what he felt was real. He drew back his hand, and rolled his hips, pressing himself down firmly onto Nitori's cock, forcing him in all the way.

Nitori gasped, surprised at the intense pleasure that flooded his hips when he felt himself being completely surrounded by the tight warmth of Rin's body. Part of him told him that he needed to stop, to hold himself back, but then he remembered what Rin told him – to act naturally, to do what felt right. Listening to that voice, he pulled back and let his hips slam forward again, driving himself in all the way, and repeated the motion a number of times until his ears registered an unexpected sound.

Rin was moaning. He had his face turned to the side, trying to stifle it in the pillow, but there was no mistaking the kinds of sounds he was making. Twisting his fingers in the sheets, Rin locked his ankles behind Nitori's, and lifted his hips to meet his thrusts, pressing himself down into his lap. Nitori placed his hands on Rin's hips, and noticed that it made it a lot easier for him to piston his hips that way, keeping him firmly seated within him while he moved.

“Rin?” he asked again. He cleared his throat and waited, anxious to hear how Rin felt in his own words.

Though, Rin didn't appear to be in any condition to speak. He must have used all of his willpower to keep himself calm before, but now he had completely let it go and was moaning as viciously as he would have been if he were on top.

“ _More_ ,” he growled, one of his hands coming up to grip Nitori's thigh. “Do it harder, Nitori.”

If he did it any harder, he was afraid he was going to come, but he just couldn't deny him when Rin made such a direct demand. “A-alright,” he said, voice shaky as he quickened his pace, squeezing Rin's hips tightly as he pushed into him with all of the strength his slighter body could muster.

Pressing his head back into his pillow, Rin groaned, and finally wrapped his fingers around himself. He didn't move his hand; his fingers locked around the base to keep himself grounded while he savored the pleasure he received from Nitori.

“I love it,” he said, his voice ragged, sounding so different from usual. It sounded like he'd given up on holding it together, like he was ready to show Nitori another part of him that he hadn't seen. “You're... doing really good, Ai.”

That was more encouragement than Nitori would need for a lifetime. In fact, maybe it was a little bit too much.

He tried to still his hips, but they wanted to keep moving. Although Rin looked particularly experienced with his fingers, inside, he felt rather tight, and it was hard for him to resist the feeling of him wrapped tightly around his cock. It could have just been his imagination, but he swore that he could feel Rin clenching, flexing his muscles like he was trying to make him come, testing him.

“Ai.”

He looked up. When he saw Rin holding out his hands for him, he instinctively moved forward and slid his arms underneath him, wrapping them around Rin's back. Doing so brought them closer together so that their chests were nearly touching. It felt unique to have Rin's arms wrapped around his shoulders. What Nitori really noticed, though, was the way that their new position made Rin's cock rub against his stomach whenever he moved. The underside of it glided over his skin, still slippery with lubricant, but the head was slick from something distinctly different.

“Are you close?” Nitori asked, hoping that he was. He wasn't sure how much of this he was going to be able to handle. At the least, he hoped that he would still be worthy of Rin's earlier praise by the time he finished.

Rin remained tight-lipped, but a few more moans managed to slip past them at his inquiry. He cracked open one eye and frowned at Nitori. A second later, a forceful palm slammed him in the jaw, forcing him to look away.

“Quit staring at my face,” Rin grumbled.

Nitori couldn't complain, even if his jaw felt sore and his teeth were buzzing. He really loved it when Rin got flustered. He loved his cool side and his strong side, but his timid, shy side was especially lovable.

Rin hadn't answered him, but Nitori could tell that he was going to come soon as well. He doubted that he would be able to last for longer than Rin, but he wanted to try to make it as good for him as he could until then, so he gave it all he had, pounding into him with abandon, letting out his voice as he drew nearer and nearer to his climax.

“I-I'm going to come, sen-” Something made him hold his tongue and he chose instead, “ _Rin._ ”

Rin didn't seem to be as concerned with his sentimentalism, however. He pushed at his shoulders and shifted his hips in a way that made Nitori jolt.

“Don't come inside, you idiot,” Rin said around a growl, trying to squirm his way off of him in time.

Thankfully, Nitori's ears heard him before the last second, and he pulled himself out with effort. He gripped himself in his fist and had not a moment to think before he was coming, spilling his cum over Rin's tight stomach, as well as over his cock. Something wild flashed in Rin's eyes, and he enclosed his cock tightly in his fist, sliding Nitori's cum and his own over his cock until he was arching his hips off the bed, coming with a long, deep moan.

All at once, Rin's tensed muscles relaxed, and he sunk back down to the bed as though deflated.

He was relaxed, but he still looked somewhat flustered.

“Rin, could it be,” Nitori began slowly, feeling curious, “that this was your very first time on bottom?”

Putting an arm up to shield his face, he tilted his head to the side, effectively saying that he wasn't interested in answering him yet. That was enough of an answer for Nitori, though, whose heart began to swell at the thought that he had been the first one to see a side of Rin that no one else had ever experienced before.

A sudden worry sprung to mind that dampened his excitement. “I-I'm sorry for not asking sooner! I should have realized... If I'd known, I would have tried to be extra careful-”

“Nitori!”

Immediately, Nitori ducked his head and backed away on his knees, providing Rin with space as he struggled to sit up. After his first time like that, Nitori knew that he must have felt rather sore, so he didn't miss Rin's wince as he straightened up against the back of the bed.

“It's not important,” Rin said. Noticing the way that Nitori's eyes widened at his statement, sensing that he was about to launch into further apologies, he explained on his own. “I knew that if I told you, you'd just start worrying more about me. You already worry enough about me as it is. Besides, I... I had no doubt that I was... in good hands. So I wasn't concerned.”

There weren't words to express how relieved and happy that made Nitori feel. A wide grin blossomed on his face. The timid look on Rin's face was replaced with one of surprise when he suddenly found himself with a lapful of Nitori.

Wrapping his arms tightly around Rin's shoulders, he buried his face in his neck and beamed. “Senpai...!”

Screw it. He was too happy. The senpai-kouhai dynamics they shared were what made moments like this so special and significant in the first place.

Groaning, Rin pushed at his shoulders, powerlessly attempting to extricate himself from the ecstatic pile of Nitori in his lap. “We're still a mess, you know. Come on, get off!” he groused.

Mess or no, Nitori wasn't going to budge. If Rin really wanted him to move, he would have already found himself laying on his back on the floor before he knew what hit him. The sticky feeling clinging to his skin would get to him eventually, but for the moment, he was too pleased to care.


End file.
